A couple of weeks ago I found myself in a kayak in the middle of a turbulent lake. I know. How can lakes even be turbulent? And what is a land plant doing in a lake?! It doesn’t make sense. Ha! Nothing makes sense.
To my own disappointment, I haven’t blogged in the past two weeks. That means I failed the one-post-a-week challenge and that sucks big time. But if it’s any consolation, that also means I haven’t posted trash in weeks and that is some achievement. A part of me wishes the same achievement for other people. There. Mean thought successfully expressed. I should be able to sleep better now.
But I digress. I have been extra busy living inside my head in the past days repairing old and loose boards that have kept my personality from falling apart. Yes, I have been living on the edge, the edge of falling apart. For a moment that sentence probably sounded cool until the latter part revealed that it’s not. That sentence is in every way like me in the last three weeks, cool but not really. I almost thought it was quarter life crisis kicking in until I remembered that I have decided to experience it at seventy five. Life is hard but I am determined to age at a biblical level.
I found myself wanting to runaway to some unknown land in my daily commutes. It was probably my subconscious begging me for a break. Add to that the universe’s penchant for giving my sentimental moments musical scoring and I should be ready to bawl my eyes out. I of course did not. Hiding emotions is one of my wicked talents. It’s probably the reason why I have strange heart issues. But I had to do something about this gloomy episode.
On a Saturday I found myself waiting for a friend at some convenient store. She was to pick me up and another friend and drive the three of us to the remote parts of Laguna. This is the trend nowadays. If you want a break from stress, go far and avoid “other people” like the plague. Hours, numerous confused pedestrians, and several huge concrete duck sculptures later, we were having lunch in a vintage-themed Filipino restaurant. What followed was another long drive to get to the edge of the Sierra Lake. The wrong one. Great job Google Maps! Why did I even forget that this was the same technology that used to suggest swimming across the pacific ocean to get to California? We should have trusted our instincts when the road started getting deep into the jungle. (Well there were houses but it was almost like it.) We could have been team number one! Plus points for the competitive spirit there.
There were team building activities and a boodle fight but the remaining hours of the day were spent mostly chilling. I tried kayaking the following day. Going alone was not part of my plan but strange plants are often lonely and there was only one paddle left. It was not the best decision. Halfway through the route I set, and likely in the deepest part of the lake, strong winds started blowing making waves enough to capsize the kayak. Even with a life vest on, I was convinced for a moment that I was going to die. I dropped the plan and decided to go back. Stirring the boat was incredibly hard and paddling to the shore took forever. If anything, I realized that I can’t die yet.
We went home in the afternoon. The only thing I did when I got to the house was sleep. I felt better emotionally but the whole trip drained me physically. The idea of getting back to the daily grind was not very welcoming but there’s very little I could do about it. On Wednesday night after a long day, I ordered bouquets of flowers to be delivered to our house on Mother’s Day. I ordered roses for my sister. For my mom, I ordered a bouquet of gerberas and mums. Mums. How appropriately named. Mom loves getting flowers. She also likes to keep her flowers for a long time and for that she tries to plant them. Crazy. The mums seem to enjoy sharing space with our African Spear now. Mom’s mums. Now that’s quite difficult to say.
I also got a new gig. I’m dropping writing newsletters to focus on generating more content for the nonprofit’s blog and managing campaigns. Exciting. Until I realized that I might not really have the time. In that case the more appropriate adjective is “exhausting”. But I’m just about to start. Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it they say. I say don’t knock it till it’s about to knock you out. With a number of tricks up my sleeves, I might just get far. We’ll see. -aB