That sounds like one of those self-help books we privately read in bookstores under a glaring “No Private Reading” sign. It’s intriguing but we’re not going to buy it. We just want a sneak peak. But this is not a book. This is a 628-word blog post, said my word processor. And you can read this as much as you want.

But why would I suddenly write about kissing a guy? That seems quite random. Well it is. I just got the prompt from a message board I am following. The type curated by students for students with minimal censorship and where literally anyone can anonymously post questions, rants, confessions, and even sloppy invites for casual sex. What’s a grown-ass man doing in such message board you might ask? You’ve likely made up an answer at this point and there’s less than 15% chance of you believing me but I’ll say it anyway, I’m observing people like the freak that I am. Also, I occasionally answer questions about removing annoying adware, when to quit computer science, and when to give up on people. These young men and women could benefit from a preview of adulthood through me. When you’re hopeless, you should hope that someone could do it better.

So a young lady was in a party and she met her crush there. Crush. I haven’t dealt with that word in a long while. They had a pretty good time but no kissing that is cute, romantic, awkward, or gross happened. She then asked in the message board when it is okay to kiss a guy because apparently gone are the days when you would ask physically present friends for advice; crowdsourcing is very popular among teens nowadays. I could have posted an answer right away but I thought maybe I can use it as a topic for when I have an episode of verbal diarrhea.

So when is it okay to kiss a guy?

Regardless if a guy is outlandishly gorgeous or just outlandish, unless you were abducted by an UFO and got thrown into some space party, there’s a chance that the guy is human. You two likely share a common set of reactions in every social situation. A good start would be to ask yourself when it is okay to kiss you. While most guys would choose not to make a big deal of a kiss, a guy also has a concept of “awkward”. And awkward can lead to something forgettable or terrible. Normally, neither of those outcomes are in our new-relationship goals. So ask yourself.

No. Sneaking up on a guy and stealing a kiss is not a good idea unless you want your first love letters written on a cast holding a fractured limb. Guys tend to have good reflex. It can be amazing to watch it in action as long as it’s not working against you.

In any kissing situation, one would appreciate being aware of what’s happening. There are gestures and all that body language that can communicate to the other person your intention but a good start would be to make sure that you have each other’s attention. You can either work on a “moment” from there or play it cool and just say “I like you.” Also, be sure to pick up the right signals. The face can give you an idea of how ready a person is and how much they are expecting. If it’s your first kiss with a crush, you don’t have to recreate a dramatic movie scene. If you do, my research says that there’s a high chance of you regretting it.

Or you may take the other path and just do it and learn things on your own. When adventure calls, you answer it. -aB

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